So, as you can imagine, I get a lot of emails regarding the vehicles I have for sale. My vehicles are listed on this website, autotrader.com, and sometimes on ebay. Invariably the most annoying questions come from ebay. They are not only annoying because of what is asked, but 99% of the time the person asking the questions has no intention of buying my car. How do I know this? I have been selling cars and other items on ebay since 1994 and have learned this over the years. Don't get me wrong I answer all of the questions to the best of my knowledge - after all I am trying to sell something and I want the buyer to be as informed as possible as to what they are buying.
Yesterday I received some questions on my 1988 Corvette 35th Anniversary Edition listed on ebay. The car has verified 34k miles and is in overall very nice condition. I responded as I always do to the potential buyer with accurate answers and additional pictures. As expected, he has already indicated that he will not be purchasing the car. I have 100% positive feedback (over 7500 feedback) on ebay and am not out to rip anyone off. My pics and descriptions are accurate; however, sometimes the little devil on my shoulder tells me to be less than professional. This morning I typed the responses below. Of course I would never send this but I had fun writing the silly answers(his question in red):
What is the story behind the 88 Vette, hiow did you come to acquire it? Once upon a time General Motors decided to build a sports car. They decided to name it Corvette. Over the
years it grew and grew. It became popular, hung out with celebrities, politicians, and
sports stars. It became so popular that in 1988 an anniversary edition was made. It
followed me home one day looking sad and lonely so I decided to help it out. It asked me
to find it a new home. Please provide three references, proof of a home visit, the size and
color of your garage, the results of your CBC and BMP panels, and your credit report. I
have to make sure it is going to a good home.
Did it rain inside the cabin-console, there is a rusted screw and the console from the pics
looks rough for such low miles. Yes, there was a freak low pressure event in the cabin-
console which caused a mini hurricane over the screw. It was not a cat 5 but still
damaged that screw. In the past the car was used during parades. You know the ones
where there is a line of Corvettes with a beautiful woman sitting on the roof waving. I
volunteered to have the Corvette in one of these parades without realizing it was a parade
honoring the visiting East German Woman's shot put team. One of those stout ladies
stood on the console getting out of the car and cracked the lid.
Is carpet coming unglued from door panels? Odd low miles. Yes it is coming unglued. In
its infinite wisdom, General Motors, decided to use pixie spit instead of glue to hold the
carpet on the doors and after 31 years the spit has dried out and is not as sticky as it is
straight out of the mouth of a pixie.
Appears the front end inside wheel panels have stripped as if something happened? I
don't even know what this means. Possibly the Vette was out moonlighting at the strip club
when I thought it was in the garage. Normally I wouldn't think a car would strip but I have
seen plenty of cars wrapped around a pole.
Was this garage kept? I have kept it stored in my garage. Every night my child covers it in
stuffed care bears.
Do you have photos of under carriage, the new exhaust Do you ask for upskirt shots of
women you want to date? I don't think it is appropriate to ask for pics of the underside of
the Vette. Besides she is way too modest to allow me to share them even if I could
convince her to pose for them.
I know I'm ranting (it said so in the blog title), but if you are looking at an older car expect there to be some wear even if it has low miles. Most cars have been driven in rain, heat, cold and stored in an unheated and unairconditioned garage. After decades this will degrade plastic, adhesives, rubber, etc. Even with perfect upkeep and care there will be some wear on the vehicle. If it has been stored in a humidity and climate controlled storage unit/garage it may look new but 99.9% of the cars are not stored this way.
On another note, what is it with truck drivers. I'm talking specifically about common carrier drivers that are transporting vehicles. It has been my experience that the vast majority of them are clueless as to how to run a business. They lie about when they will pick up or deliver a vehicle. I have heard "I'm 20-30 minutes away" dozens of times. This usually means that they will be there in 45-90 minutes and will not answer their phone when you call 35 minutes later to get an update on where they are. The second most frequent thing they say is that they are delayed due to "truck problems" . The reality is that they have found someone who is more important, willing to pay more, they want a day off, they got lost, or they just flat out don't care about keeping appointments. Rarely is it really truck problems. Ahhh, the joys of being an independent car dealer. Enough ranting - back to work. I will try to update the blog more often. Let me know if anyone out there is actually reading this.